1

A touch, and she was gone.

No explanation why; just annoyance at the thought of explanation

No remorse for the wreakage of confusion left by the rampage

It takes all the resilience of will to hold down the rage that wants to destroy the infidel that caused the damage

And yet, there was that moment.

The passion was there.

Contact was made.

What in the name of God or Gods happened?

2

Foolish Mortal!

To dream of happiness, but to base it on the response of another mortal.

I should have known.

She is too perfect for my world.

Those who fly cannot be bound by earth dwellers.

She is a being of light, I am a creature of shadow.

We live in two separate worlds, and only met by chance in the twilight.

There could have been nothing between us.

Or could there?

3

My gift to you is nothing. Nothing is all I have; nothing is all I am.

My goal was to provide a chance to grow, to experiment with new ideas, to heal.

I do not understand your restraint, but I accept it.

I look forward to the day you are comfortable enough to explore further.

I find it ironic (and somehow balancing) that something I value highly can also be something to regret.

4

What hast thou done to disturb my spirit so?

Why am I drawn to thee as a moth to flame?

It is not thy circumstances, for I know numerous others who share the same.

It is not thy beauty, though indeed thou art pleasant to the eye.

I cannot explain and yet I am entranced when thou art near.

5

Drinking from the empty glass does not quench the burning thirst

Eating from the empty plate does not satisfy the hunger

The banquet is set, but the food is wax and plaster

Roaming countless hallways looking through the glass of locked doors

Seeing the abyss, and still choosing to cross the roten foot-bridge

How dare I take the chance?

How dare I not?

6

My words are but leaves falling to the ground, dead and useless;

Better to have saved the breath.

I cannot choose any reality but my own,

but how can I choose when the choice is not mine?

Alone is solitude; isolation.

But together might be even more isolated,

for to be alone in a crowd is more tormenting than alone in solitude.

7

My mind is beset by demons, my soul tormented. Ideas fly about my head like bats trying to leave a cavern. All I feel is a great emptiness that yearns to be whole again. I must be careful. It is at this point that I am most vulnerable. I have found that no matter how well-constructed the armor, there is always some point that is vulnerable to attack.

Events have transpired over which I have no control. The only way I have to deal with them is to let them happen, and deal with them as best I can.

I went in search of an answer. I was cast out for no apparent reason, and I was incomplete. I could not and would not accept it. I found not the answer I searched for, but the answer I needed was given to me. A piece to the puzzle was given to me, one that would fit. I am now whole enough to go on, and not hurt as badly as I would have. I thank the one who was insightful enough to help me, and the Lord bless and keep her.

8

I was too weak to give you what you wanted

You were not strong enough to take what you needed

We each took what the other offered

And never thought there was any more

Perhaps, in the end, we each received what we were searching for

Although we may never touch again

We touched, and were one with each other

9

I search for someone, but I know not who

I will know when I find them

They will speak their name, and that name will be one I have never heard

But I have always known it

No questions will be asked

No answers will be needed

10

I feel

Emotions flow like water over a cliff

Love, hatred, jealousy, rage, sadness, joy

I hold to none

But let them wash over me

I keep happiness, and let the others go

It is the simplest, and easiest to keep

11

The beast screams in agony, yet no one can hear the cry, no one to offer comfort

He remains within the cage without bars, and is restrained

Yet fools still walk within his grasp

Why not remain safe on the shore

Instead of drowning in the ocean storm?

12

Two paths lie ahead

One leads down a road I do not wish to travel, yet the end of the path holds happiness.

The other path is very nice, but leads somewhere I do not wish to be.

How can I choose a path

When both may lead to my destruction?

13

Take women like medicine

Quickly, and in small doses

14

The world is filled with beauty and splendor and life,

Yet some people cannot enjoy life, beauty, and spendor because of fear.

Fear of life

Fear of death

Fear of the unknown

Fear of ending

Fear of beginning

These get in the way of happiness

To be truly happy, one must not fear the unknown.

15

People place too much importance on custom and tradition. Tradition is a good thing, but only when it promotes happiness. No one can forsee everything, so no rule can cover everyone, and every situation. Why must humans stake so many claims to be happy? We cannot be simply happy. Happiness to most people must be bough with pain, guilt, or both. I do not want to feel guilty for any pleasure I receive, but as a human being, I am compelled to feel remorse.

16

I am aware of what I have given you, but not of what you have received.

For like the man selling steel, who does not know if the steel will be used to make weapons, or plowshares, or bars, or umbrellas

I know not what you have made of it.

My greatest fear is that something destructive will come of it.

17

Mankind is wonder.

18

Feel the wonder of the ages, the beat of a million souls

Fighting against oblivion, heading for their goal

The battle would be over if everyone could see

The things we are fighting for are within you and me

19

Do yo feel the same way I do? Can you know what I feel?

You claim to know, and yet I can see that you do not. It is no crime to ask for what you want. I ask for you, but you want something other than what I am. You want me to pretend to be something I am not.

I will not compromise myself any longer. In my life, I have bent as far as I am willing to bend. It is time for others to bend a little.

20

How easy it would be to fall, to lose myself in your gaze, to let myself be entranced by your ways. One slip, and I would be your willing slave, to do with as you will, my only thought and action to please you and make you happy. I watch, and am careful, for I know that what I feel would not return if it were expressed. And yet I wonder.

I know the freedom you express with me is because you know I cannot ask of you what I want. I know it can never be. I will simply take what is offered, and be satisfied with it.

To feel your softness, your closeness, the warmth of your body, your taste, your smell.

You may never know.

Is it envy, a desire for something that someone else has? I hope not.

21

To live through another is not good. Who would deny themselves the joy of another's company? And yet, one must.

I know what I feel, and that is based on pretense. Were it not for the other, no notice would be taken of me at all.

How pathetic am I to hope for what will never be.

22

How cruel Fate is to curse me so!

To finally find my Shakti, the one who stirs my soul, who fills me with her passion

To find the one whose mind and body call to me...

To find someone who is the very essence of sexuality and love

and then to find she no longer desires you....

23

You try and be the good one, and end up hurting people without meaning to.

You can reach out for a touch to ease your pain of being generally igrnored...and end up doing the very same things you despise in others

.You imagine yourself to be so enlightened, and end up just wallowing in a different section of the human pig pen.

24

Amongst the cacophany of voices in my mind, a stillness....such a profound stillness that it is heard above the roaring crowd.  Fighting my way through to the  stillness-a smiling, innocent face.

Fear, always ready to give advice, says "What do you want of us?"

The reply......"Love Me"

Outrage!  Fear, on the rampage, trys desperately to discredit it. Elaborate arguments, based on past fact, prove beyond a doubt that this is not prudent or advised.

And still the response: "Love Me"

Apprehension steps in.  "What is the bargain?  What is asked in return?"

And the reply:  "Love Me"

That is the price, that is the reward.  No change, no compromises, no posessions, no property.  This above all else.

"Love Me"

25

Spirituality and enlightenment are but fertilizer

One day you wake up and find out you are not nearly as enlightened as you thought.

That all the control and serenity that you thought you had is but a thin veneer hiding your true animal nature.

There are no enlightened beings, only those that pretend, by concealing their true natures.